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Celebrity deathmatch: Steve Irwin vs. Germaine Greer

"Maybe there are a lot of snobs in Australia who are embarrassed by Steve Irwin, but I guarantee you, right now there are a lot of feminists the world over who are embarrassed by Germaine Greer. At least I hope so."

For an alleged intellectual and supposed academic, Germaine Greer isn't very smart.

If you don't know who Germaine Greer is, you are by no means alone -- I didn't until I read about her today. Ms. Greer's claim to fame is as the author of the feminist book, "The Female Eunuch."

According to CNN, Ms. Greer went on Australian TV's "A Current Affair" news program, and said that those who mourn "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin's passing are "idiots," and she said possibly millions of Australians were embarrassed by him.

"It's no surprise he came to grief," she crowed.

When it comes to Steve Irwin, I'm indifferent. I've never watched a television show of his and I never saw his movie. I did think he was interesting when he appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I do know that my children and their friends loved to do impersonations of him, and he seemed to have a very charismatic personality. And from what I read, he has done a lot both for animals and for how people think of animals.

I realize the world lost a celebrity of worldwide renown, but to me the loss of a father to a young family is the greater tragedy.

Regardless of how you feel about Steve Irwin though, if a mature human being like Germaine Greer doesn't have enough sense to act mature about his passing, she should at least TRY to act human!

Maybe there are a lot of snobs in Australia who are embarrassed by Steve Irwin, but I guarantee you, right now there are a lot of feminists the world over who are embarrassed by Germaine Greer. At least I hope so.

By all appearances, Germaine Greer is a bitter, elitist old lady who is as much without heart as she is common sense.

When Germaine Greer's time comes, she'll likely go choking on a rogue crumpet at an tea party. And ironically, when that day comes, and I'm sure she'll hate this, she's more likely be remembered as the lady who was bitter about Steve Irwin's fame, than she is to be remembered for any fame she may have otherwise acquired.

Nicky's bear!

What would you do if you were walking around in your house and you came face to face with a bear? I can tell you what Nicky would do, because it just happened to her!

We had just arrived home from bringing our puppy to the vet when I got a call informing me Emily needed to be picked up. As the family got out of the car, I walked over to another car and drove back into town to get Em. While driving, my mobile phone rang and I began speaking to Nicky. Suddenly she gasped. The sound of her gasp sparked instant alarm inside me.

I asked what was wrong but Nicky didn't answer. Then she blurted, "Oh! OH! Oh my GOODNESS!" I kept asking her if she was alright, but she didn't say anything. Then she muttered, "Bear."

"Did she just say 'bear?'" I puzzled.

"Bear. Oh my goodness, there is a bear -- a bear in our garage! Kids! There is a bear in our garage!"

While talking with me on the telephone, Nicky opened the door from the utility room to the garage, and found herself eye to eye with an Alaskan black bear! She was so close to it, she could have reached out and stroked it, and she would have hit it with the door had the bear not jumped back when the door started to open. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, then Nicky went back into the utility room.

"What do I do?!" Nicky asked.

I told her to have the kids get their cameras and wait at the window for the bear to come out. I didn't say what I thought was obvious ... like, "And don't let them go outdoors." I guess I should have though. Some of the boys climbed out on to the roof of the house to see the bear and take photos. After a few minutes they figured they missed the bear and gave up. When 10 minutes or so had passed, Nicky went into the garage again, supposing the bear had long since left. Once again, Nicky unexpectedly found herself face to face with a bear. The bear looked up from eating our puppy's dog food (from the bag) and stared at Nicky.

When the bear finally left, Nicky and Tommy went out to the car to get the puppy out of the kennel. Nicky banged pans together to scare off the bear if it was still close. The dog is usually quite keen to leave the kennel, but they couldn't coax the dog out of the kennel. Then they looked up our driveway and saw the bear. The bear saw them too and went at them. They grabbed the dog and ran for the front door where Sam was standing with the door open, and promptly shut it behind them.

Gemma was sitting on the couch taking photos of the bear when the bear went onto our porch and pressed its face against our window, about 8 inches from Gemma's face, leaving snot on the glass. The kids got some great photos and Josh camcorded it, but he accidentally put the camcorder in night vision mode and left it on, so most of the tape is in green and white. Nicky called 911, and I called a nearby neighbor who is a police officer, and he got there first and shot the bear with special cartridges that have bean bags in them. The bear looked annoyed and walked away. We have seen the bear back around our house in the the days since.

While the whole thing ended up to be a fun adventure, it was actually quite dangerous. This is what is known as a "nuisance bear." It isn't properly afraid of people. Had the bear bumped the glass harder, it could have broken through and harmed the family.

While I am tempted to turn this story into a life lesson here in this blog, I think I'll just leave it at this for awhile, and thank my Father in Heaven that my wife has such a great head on her shoulders.

Stopping the Bull

The great philosopher, Anonymous, once said, "Thinking that life should treat you fairly because you are a good person is like thinking a bull shouldn’t charge you because you are a vegetarian."

Someday I may blog on the lies of liars and the incredible incompetence of those who should have protected our family from them, but probably not. Obviously life is not fair, and apparently it is not even meant to be.

If this life was about fairness, no child would ever be harmed, and all ice cream would be calorie-free.

However, one good thing about injustice is that it forces you to take directions with your life you otherwise would not have chosen, even if God wants you to. For example, if it wasn't for the cruelty of Joseph's own family, Joseph would never have gone to Egypt to prepare for an impending famine that would have surely annihilated the children of Israel.

Joseph may not have appreciated the injustices he suffered as he suffered them, but in the end he saw the astonishing love and wisdom of God's will. Thanks to those very injustices, and Joseph's great attitude and faith, Joseph found himself in a position to save his family.

As we were online booking flights to Indiana to look at houses, we received a couple of childish, mean-spirited emails. As a policy I keep others innocent to how some people treat me, in the supremely naive hope that keeping above pettiness may one day pave a path to better relations. So without disclosing specifics, what the emails said in essence is that these people currently have no desire to live any gospel principle which might result in things getting better between us, and in children living happier lives.

Conversely, Nicky and I are all about helping our children have happier lives, so we prayed and felt inspired to book flights to Utah instead. You know what? Our family learned that Utah is a surprisingly superb place to holiday.

Then we realized that relocating to Provo or Orem might be a shrewd move. Nicky and I are the parents of 7 children, including 6 teenagers. We have a daughter there at the university now, and we will have two more children going to school there after this coming school year. In fact, the Provo / Orem area is where all of our children want to go to school.

With all of our children headed to the same area, and perhaps someday some grandchildren as well, moving makes sense. And in a fervent companionship prayer, Nicky and I learned that our Heavenly Father agrees.

So, less than 7 days after sitting down to book flights to Indiana to look at houses, we purchased a house in south Orem, Utah. Below is a photo album of the new house in Utah. Click "Play" or the gold colored arrows to view photos of the house.

Life isn't fair, even for good people, and even vegetarians get charged by bulls... but try not to let yourself worry too much about it.

"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." (D&C 90: 24).

Joseph explained to his brothers how life works for those who keep their attitudes well and place their faith in Christ:

"But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." (Genesis 50:20)

Is Terre Haute the place to go?

I am considering moving my family to Terre Haute, Indiana so I'm doing research. Look what Wikipedia says about Terre Haute, Indiana:

• Comedian Steve Martin calls Terre Haute, "the most nowhere place in America" and "the armpit of America". In his movie, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, actor and writer Steve Martin has the town destroyed by Nazis using cheese mold.

• In 1955, Terre Haute was labeled Sin City by the monthly magazine, Stag. Although Terre Haute has had different nicknames ("The Crossroads of America," for one), "Sin City" seemed to be its most popular moniker for several decades.

• The city also developed a reputation for being "wide open", with gambling and a well-developed "Red Light District" only recently cleaned up.

• Terre Haute is notorious in and around the Midwest for its distinct bad odor which is the result of local industry (specifically a paper plant and a poorly located sewage treatment facility).

• Businessman Kevin Burke was elected the city's mayor in 2003 and vowed to make cleaning up the city's smell -- and image -- one of his administration's top priorities.

• During the second decade of the 20th Century, Terre Haute was rocked by political scandal and that reputation persisted for several decades.

• As the coal mines were spent, and the importance of the railroads declined, the town is now labeled a "bad labor town".

• It was recently called "A Model of Stagnation" by The Indianapolis Star.

• The city is known to have one of the highest per-capita number of restaurants in the nation. Most of these are chains, however. [For example, Anchorage which has a population of 277,000, has 36 fast food places according to Superpages.com. The 60,000 people of Terre Haute have 53 fast food places, including 6 McDonald's, 6 Burger Kings, 6 Subways, 4 Arby's, 4 Dairy Queens, 4 Long John Silvers, 4 Wendy's, 3 Taco Bells, 3 Hardees. The 53 fast food places does not include places like Applebees, IHOP, Dennys, etc. which they also have plenty of.]

• Terre Haute is the location of a large Federal prison which is the location of the United States Government's Death Row. Timothy McVeigh was put to death at Terre Haute in 2001 for carrying out the Oklahoma City Bombing.

• A local hotel brags that it is a place where Al Capone used to stay.

I'm sure all that is accurate, but what it was, and what it is, isn't necessarily what it can be.

I have been visiting with good members of the church in Terre Haute, some of whom have lived there most of their lives, and I am honestly excited about the prospect of moving there -- more so than Nicky is at the moment!

"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right." (Doctrine and Covenants 9:8)

These next days will be (pardon the oxymoron) filled with fasting, and we certainly will be "studying it out" in our minds. But above all, we will be asking Father if it be right.

The important thing is how would living there affect and shape our family?

And after that, how would living there shape and affect the youth and others of Terre Haute with whom we would associate? Can we be a force for good there? Or would it be like throwing a white glove in the mud in an attempt to get the mud "glovey"?

I have the faith that we will be guided in the best thing to do for our family; this is too important a decision, and children are too precious in His sight for it to be otherwise.